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Anbindungsantenne/Versorgungsantenne
Weg mit dem Speck
Jun 23, 2005 18:40
18 yrs ago
German term

rhyming slogan

German to English Marketing Advertising / Public Relations
Willst Du ein guter Tscheche sein, dann schau bei uns zum Kaffee rein.

This is advertising a coffee house in Prague, and the client is hoping for a suitable rhyming couplet along the same lines in English - but given the shortage of rhymes for either Czech or coffee, I'm struggling. Any creative ideas welcome!
Proposed translations (English)
4 +7 forgive me father for i have punned
2 +9 Czech out our marvelous brew
5 +1 Write new copy instead of translating
2 +3 sounds like Yoda speak...
3 +2 Welcome to Bohemia! Pop in to our coffee bar.
4 If a good...
3 +1 terrible rhyme for a terrible slogan
2 +1 See explanation for 2 tries
2 If you want to be a good Czech...

Discussion

jccantrell Jun 23, 2005:
Boy, nothing like a little poetry to bring out the masses, is there? And they say National Public Radio can't get funded in the USA. They should sponsor a poetry contest!
sylvie malich (X) Jun 23, 2005:
I can't think why a non-Czech speaker would be encouraged to be a *good* Czech. Or is the idea to be *like* a good Czech. Or, rather, like a Czech. Period. I'm wondering what the original Czech slogan is.

Proposed translations

+7
1 hr
Selected

forgive me father for i have punned

once you've enjoyed our fine Czech brew,
no other coffee house will do.
one taste and we can guarantee
you'll swear the rest is "czechory"!
Peer comment(s):
agree silvia glatzhofer : love the czechory bit!
4 mins
agree silfilla : excellent! ;-)
35 mins
agree Michael Bailey : I like the czechory bit too...
1 hr
agree Lisa Davey : Two couplets for the price of one! Bargain as well as brilliant.
3 hrs
agree Lori Dendy-Molz : this one ought to please the client
10 hrs
agree sylvie malich (X) : hear, hear!
11 hrs
agree Sonia Soros
13 hrs
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Bearing in mind what the client wants, this is absolutely perfect (although I'm only going to use the first two lines, I have to say :-) But thanks to all poets for such a fine range of offerings!"
+3
8 mins

sounds like Yoda speak...

If a good Czech you want to be
Then pop in for a coffee
Peer comment(s):
agree Brie Vernier : Cute! Maybe: ... then stop in *here* for a coffee
7 mins
that might work - of course... I'll have to find out where the coffee shop is and avoid it - my friends might take the mick!
agree Sara Noss
8 mins
thanks
agree silfilla : works with the addition of *good*: ... then pop in for good coffee ;-))
35 mins
neutral Francis Lee (X) : not Yoda-speak; the original is just a (pathetic) attempt at the trad. German poetic format, which they use shockingly often for kids' TV
1 hr
Something went wrong...
15 mins

If a good...

Czeck you want to be, come inside, taste our coffee.

Oh man, now I know why I am an engineer!

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 16 mins (2005-06-23 18:56:15 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

and not a typist either, Czech

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 16 mins (2005-06-23 18:56:52 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

And I DO have my poetic license, right here, see?????
Peer comment(s):
neutral Francis Lee (X) : I'm certainly no talented poet either, but I do think this needs a new format for the English version
1 hr
Something went wrong...
+1
17 mins

See explanation for 2 tries

If your Czechness needs brushing up, come have some coffee from our cup!
(To) be a Czech without a spot, have some coffee from our pot!
Peer comment(s):
agree Oliver Annacker : like the second one
50 mins
neutral Francis Lee (X) : sorry, but English-speakers would think this is aimed at their kids - or (grand)parents
1 hr
Something went wrong...
+1
21 mins

Write new copy instead of translating

Write new copy instead of translating, e.g.:

Make today a perfect day!
Stop at *** Café

HTH Tom
Peer comment(s):
agree jccantrell : and charge your client appropriately!
17 mins
neutral Francis Lee (X) : yes indeed - as idwerk has done ...
1 hr
Something went wrong...
+1
20 mins

terrible rhyme for a terrible slogan

If you're a good Czech, come and take
A well-deserved coffee break!

Does that mean that non-Czechs are not welcome??

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 27 mins (2005-06-23 19:07:54 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Read: well-deservEd!
Peer comment(s):
agree Michael Bailey : or euphemistically that Czechs over-extend their coffee breaks... :o)
11 mins
neutral Francis Lee (X) : I think a e.g. pun - however awful - would appeal more to English-speakers than the rhyme format / Sorry, I overlooked the client's wishes; as we all know, convincing them otherwise can be a frustrating task ;-)
1 hr
Agree, but the customer is king as they say, and they specifically asked for a rhyming couplet... Of course, if Armorel can convince them it's a terrible idea...
Something went wrong...
28 mins

If you want to be a good Czech...

If you want to be a good Czech...come and check out our coffee

or something similar, you don t necessarily have to do a classic rhyme

but can use other possible catch phrases, such as "true spirit", "Czech style" etc. regards
Something went wrong...
+2
18 mins

Welcome to Bohemia! Pop in to our coffee bar.

Bohemia (Böhmen) and Moravia (Mähren): Geographical rather than political name for the western half of the former Czechoslovakia.

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Note added at 1 hr 18 mins (2005-06-23 19:58:42 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Sorry, missed the obvious :-(
\"Welcome to Bohemia! Czech in to our coffee bar.\"
Peer comment(s):
agree Francis Lee (X) : "Bohemian Rhapsody", perhaps? / Yes - and I don't miss 'em (i.e. the louts) one iota ;-). But actually, I think the Bohemian factor could indeed work wonders here (depending on whether this is online or local promotion)
3 hrs
Many years ago, before lager louts ruled the late night streets, ‘beatniks’ (Bohemian types) frequented coffee bars. There they would listen to ‘jazz’.
agree Ian M-H (X)
15 hrs
Something went wrong...
+9
26 mins

Czech out our marvelous brew

OK, it's dumb. But it's late and I'm tired. '-)



--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr 37 mins (2005-06-23 20:18:02 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

All the nice agrees are fun (and appreciated), but if the client is hoping for a nice rhyming couplet that sticks close to the original, this probably won\'t fly.
Peer comment(s):
agree Michael Bailey : I like it!
3 mins
thanks
agree vptrans : actually not bad, the Cie.
4 mins
thanks
agree silfilla
18 mins
thanks
agree sylvie malich (X) : >sound of two hands clapping<
21 mins
Gee, maybe I should do more creative writing in my sleep! ;-)
agree Frosty : And another two!
35 mins
thanks
agree Oliver Annacker
43 mins
thanks
agree Stephen Sadie
56 mins
Thanks. I'm going to sleep now.
agree Francis Lee (X) : but don't mention that half the clientele is Czech-trousered Germans ;-) (My God, Googling "check-trousered" reveals it really is a term (of abuse) for Continental tourists) / Oooooch! 8-(
1 hr
not to mention the socks with sandals//Nothing personal! ;-) My husband and kids wear them all the time, but we yanks used to sniff at the practice (until Birkenstocks were hot in the 90s, then socks were ok)
agree rangepost
2 hrs
neutral Lancashireman : One word of caution: 'Staropramen'...//Hi, Lori! If they haven’t used “Czech out…”, their PR people have missed out. No, it was the use of BREW! Tourists to Czech Rep associate ‘brew’ with beer (in Prague-‘Staropramen’). Sorry to rain on your parade :-(
2 hrs
?? Found the website, but don't see what you mean. Do they use "Czech out?"//Good point. Anyway, I think Armorel picked the right one.
Something went wrong...
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